Monday, August 11, 2014

5 Simple Steps to Losing the Baby Weight

Don't eat crap like this!
People often ask me for advice on losing the baby weight.  The answer I give is usually not what they are looking for: win the genetic lottery and/or eat less, exercise more.  If the former doesn’t apply and the latter doesn’t appeal, here are 5 other things you can do to help lose those pesky baby pounds:

1.              Breastfeed
Everyone tells you that breastfeeding burns a bunch of extra calories . . . blah, blah, blah.  That’s not what I’m talking about.  What I’m talking about is how for the first couple months of your adorable baby’s life, inevitably they will get hungry the minute you sit down to eat a meal.  I used to joke that the baby could smell my food and it made her hungry too!  So you take a couple bites of your delicious warm meal, take a break to nurse and when you get back to your food, it’s gone cold and you have to reheat it – why does food never taste the same when it’s been reheated?

2.              Work out with the baby
No, I don’t mean mommy & me yoga or any other ridiculously adorable workout geared toward baby and you. (I’ve tried mommy & me yoga and it was a disaster.  Turned into mommy & screaming baby yoga – not very Zen!)  What I mean is the inevitable workout your arms and legs will get while you hold and bounce a fussy baby throughout the day.  After a couple months, once they are not quite so floppy, you can become a master at doing everything one-handed.  Seriously, who would have ever thought you could go to the bathroom while holding a baby?  Believe me, carrying around your 10-15 pound bundle of joy can add some definition and tone to your arms! Just be sure to switch arms every now and then, otherwise one arm will look like a body builder’s and the other will look like a chicken leg.

3.              Pick the right topic of conversation
Remember how before baby, you could go out for a nice dinner with your spouse and have adult conversation about politics or gossip about friends?  Yeah, now conversations often revolve around poo, pee and spit-up.  Not very appetizing.  If there’s a sure way to not want to eat that chocolate ice cream sitting in the freezer, it’s discussing your child’s poop – especially if you are covered in the baby’s spit-up while having that conversation.  All you want is a shower and some sleep!

4.              Catch your baby's cold
If you haven’t lost all the baby weight by the time you go back to work, don’t fret, those little germ factories will bring the weight loss to you – in the form of a cold, or the flu, or some other illness.  Honestly, this is how I finally lost the last few pounds after baby #1.  Not really the way I wanted to do it, but there you go!  Get sick for a couple days and you’re on your way to your pre-baby body!

5.              Chase the toddler
If you still haven’t lost the baby weight by the time your kid is a toddler and/or you decided to have yet another kid while your first is still a toddler, don’t worry about trying to get to the gym.  All you have to do is chase around your little energy machine and poof those pounds will melt away!  Seriously, where do two year olds get so much energy?!  My toddler can run in circles around the house ALL day long (usually screaming/squealing with delight the entire time)!  And when they get tired, they ramp up even more and require even more energy!


*Disclaimer:  I am not a doctor or a weight loss expert.  None of the above is to be taken seriously – except the part about getting sick after your kid goes to daycare.  That WILL happen whether you like it or not.

Linking to:
Epic Mommy Adventures

6 comments:

  1. Haha! So true! Breastfeeding didn't help me lose weight, but I still think I got to eat a little more than usually with out GAINING weight ;)

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    1. I like to joke that breastfeeding is the best diet ever! Don't know what I'm going to do when this one finally weans and I have my body back to myself - guess I'll have to start eating "normally" again! :)

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  2. So great. Having kids, you get to be the master of doing everything one-handed. My husband hurt his elbow about a week ago and was complaining about having to eat with his left hand. Pffft. I had no sympathy!!!

    Loving your blog! Found you through the Social Media Mixer!

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    1. Thanks! The only downside of doing everything one-handed is forgetting to switch arms and ending up with one arm much stronger than the other. :)

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